Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Lots of Goodbyes

What *is* it with January?

Last year, we lost our dear Shadow, our clever cat, to a very severe, acute attack of pancreatitis. Plus, all in one week, both of our credit card accounts (different banks) and our debit card/checking account were the targets of attempted fraud, all in the same area of Ohio. We lost no money nor did we have any credit problems, since the attempts were denied, but WTF?

This year has been even more difficult. Four members of my little circle of friends and family have passed away. Marie, one of my dear friends in my seniors' charity knitting group, died from a brain tumor, two months after the diagnosis. Apparently her colon cancer had metastasized, after a supposedly successful surgery and series of treatments about 2 years ago. My friend Greg, my hairdresser of twenty years' standing died, also of cancer. It is believed that his colon cancer recurred, and he chose not to treat it again or disclose it until it was obvious.

More difficult to bear is the death of my mother and one of her sisters. My aunt Bettie died from complications of lung cancer. We thought the surgery to remove one of the lobes had been successful and that she was on a path to a good recovery. She died quite suddenly while still in the hospital. We had reconnected at her wedding in 2002, to a lovely and caring man she met when both of their spouses were in the same nursing home, both suffering from a dementing illness. I was so proud to attend the wedding of my 79-year old aunt; she was such a valiant and loving woman who had overcome many difficulties and sorrows in her life, and was very kind to me in my childhood.

My mother passed away from a short bout of pneumonia. Mom had a stroke in late 2002 and had spent the last 5 years in a nursing home here in Burbank. My father died in 1975, and as the years went by Mom wished more and more to join him; he had been her center, the light in her life. The last couple of years she withdrew from all activities, just waiting to die and completely losing her mobility. Mom wasn't a warm, loving person, and we lived quite contentedly far apart until her stroke. I tried to develop a closer relationship during her years here, visiting often and looking for ways to engage her more in the good things of life. It was because of her, to keep her company and stimulate her, that I took up crocheting and knitting again after 20 years, and that has led to the many friends and the happiness and personal growth I have found in the knitting world. I know that her passing was merciful and that she didn't suffer any pain.

My local knitting friends have been a big source of support and kindness, and I have not the words to adequately say "Thanks!" to all of you.

Next post will return to knitting content, of which I have a lot to share.

16 comments:

TracyKM said...

We have suffered a number of losses on recent New Year's Days and it was a couple weeks into Jan. this year that I realized we hadn't gotten one of 'those calls' again this year. It's so hard going from the joyous season, to losing family and friends. Keep knitting :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to here of your losses. My thoughts are with you.

Phyll

Cindy G said...

Oh I'm sorry. Those are a lot of losses to cope with all at once. Any one would have been hard. Sending hugs.

smariek said...

I am so sorry for your losses, this is just too much happening all at once. My thoughts and big (((HUGS))) are with you.

Grace Yaskovic said...

Oh barbara, you poor thing you have been dealt a harsh blow to the beginning of this year. I am so deeply sorry for your losses and please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sandra said...

It's never easy - each one is just as painful as the first, no matter if you expect it, or it's sudden. Friends get us through these times, so you know you can always depend on us for a kind word, sympathy or a good laugh, if that's what's needed.

Joan said...

Big cyber hugs sent your way, Barbara. So much at one time. Glad you posted. :-}

Lisa W. said...

oh barbara, i'm so sorry to hear about your mom, aunt and friends. it's been a tough month for you no matter how accepting you are of the inevitable or how kind the death was. my heart goes out to you my friend. better days are ahead.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it has definitely been a tough month. But we're able to get by with a little help from our friends. Friday nights, wine, knitting, and UNWINDing are very theraputic.

Debbie

Anonymous said...

We're all behind you, lifting you up. Take care.

Mary Ellen

lunadog said...

Oh, my friend, I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. About 5 years ago I had a similar year and I remember how much it hurt. I am sending my love with lots of big hugs and puppy kisses. My thoughts are with you. Write when you can.

junior_goddess said...

Oh Barbara. 'S ok, you are ok, it will be ok. But it's really yucky right now, isn't it?

Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

Trish - My Merino Mantra said...

So terrible, all of your losses, all in one month. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

sk said...

I am sorry for your losses. Hugs!

Ellen Bloom said...

You've been dealing with so much in such a short time. My heartfelt sympathies to you and your family, Barbara.

Hugs.

Marta said...

Oh, Barbara, when it rains it pours, doesn't it?! So sorry...Take good care of yourself. Hugs,

Marta